I had to write this one at some point in time, didn’t I? It’s amazing, the ‘infatuation’ bloggers have with ‘Quarter-life crisis’. Most of them write about it at some point in time and I just found out that I am no different. I mean Google it and you will find so many of them. What is it after all that makes everyone write about it? Well, what is it to begin with?
Is it when you feel the most disconnected since they cut the cord?
Is it when no one around you matters because you are too busy to figure yourself out?
Is it when you realize that your job is nowhere close to what you thought you’d be doing and it’s a start from the bottom once again if you were to restart?
Is it when you start wondering where you want to be but get scared because you don’t know where you are?
Is it when someone breaks your heart and you can’t comprehend how someone can do so much damage?
Is it when you feel scared of change and it is your biggest enemy? You cling to the past which keeps drifting away.
But the point is that when does this realization creep in? So many things mentioned above can happen to a person at different times and the advent of any of these doesn’t necessarily mean that you have entered that phase in your life.
A lot of it makes sense. In fact, all of it. I’ve noticed, especially in the last year or so, that I no longer need to get wasted and act like an idiot. It’s just not as fun as it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still like to have fun and drink. Hell, I’ll get crazy drunk occasionally, just not every weekend. Maybe it’s growing up, maybe it’s something else but I do find myself looking at life differently lately. I find myself thinking about my future more and spend it with someone.
Sometimes I feel great and invincible, on top of the world, but other times I feel lonely, scared and confused like I can’t do anything right. I used to love change, that’s all I ever wanted, I thought life would be so boring without it but sometimes it scares me and I try and cling to the past for dear life.
Thinking about all this makes me think about something else. Why do I write? What is it that makes me do it Am I just trying to find a place or a medium to tell this world when I feel good or bad? And if yes, why? Don’t I have friends to talk to about all that happens with me? Isn’t there anyone I love, to share with everything I go through?
Really, does it happen to so many of us and is so similar and generic that we have started calling it a ‘Quarter-life crisis’? Is it really happening with me right now? I think I need to figure this out first quickly….maybe then I will think of what I can do to tackle this crisis. (sigh)